I didn't always want to be a dad. I was the 2nd child of my parents, who then split up when I was 2 years old. My dad would remarry and have another child when I was 12, but they lived in another city and I would only see him 3-4 time a year. My older sister was only about 3 years older than me, but our interests were wide apart, and we didn't do many things together, although we did have a close relationship. So I never grew up with a younger sibling that I would see daily, help teach them the ways of a full energy boy, driving our parents nuts, play video games with, hold in wannabe wrestling moves and become best friends later in life. Later in my childhood I would get a girlfriend, move in with her, get married to her, and have no children well into my late 20's, with not a single thought really about it.
After being single for a couple of years, I met a girl. On Facebook. I said something funny on a buddies post, she replied pointing out the funniness, and we became vFriends. She was leaning down and looking to the side in her photo and had perfect wit and spelling; I was wearing a red Isotopes hat and was an aggressive smart ass. We eventually begun to text later on and when we had set up our first physical date, I told her I was going to kiss her the first time I laid my eyes on her.
The morning after our first date she came over to get her car, as I had taken her home the night before. Her mom brought her with her 18 month old baby, Cooper. He came inside my house and tried to pet my cats, who wanted little to do with a strong gripped little human being, and Lindsay and I talked about our night and each other. We were both aggressive towards each other from the start. Cooper was aggressive to eat some cat food he found crawling around.
I met her kids the next weekend at a neighborhood BBQ, playing soccer with the 2 youngest girls in the backyard. Months and soon a year would go by and I got to know the kids better and better, and could see the traits of their mother and grandparents in all of them. I also noticed how Cooper would mimic Jillian's talking motions as he got older, probably heavily due to them both being under school age at the same time. I could see small traits in every younger kid from an older sibling and Lindsay. I found that fascinating. Soon I would see that Cooper even copied some of my traits. It sounds like common sense that kids pick up things from other people around them, but to see it in person opened my adult eyes to something completely new.
Lindsay and I became engaged near her birthday a year after we met, and as we set simple wedding plans, I knocked her up after attending the Coachella Music Festival, going abstinent during the 4 day event (sleeping in a tent next to your buddy will do such things, no matter how many girls in summer clothing are around). I got to watch Lindsay do something she had done 7 times before (5 babies born and 2 losses). I found cereal and snacks all around the house. Got to sit in bed with her and talk about names for the baby, if it was a boy, or a girl. Got to see it squirm around her womb, eventually showing us his penis, his 3D face, and other small, itty biddy features that was impossible for me to imagine what he would actually look like. We talked to his future half-siblings about how they might play and interact with him, and they argued about who would hold him first.
We already decided Cooper would. He would be a big brother. The baby that ate my cat food and started my fascination with kids and learning.
And on December 28, 2011, I finally got to meet him. He was beautiful. He was wet. He was very very squishy. When Cooper met him, he asked if he could pet him. When he finally held him, he just smiled down at him and looked at his mom like it was the coolest toy he's ever seen. All the kids were so excited and wanted to hold him first. Wanted to lay with him once he was home. Wanted to try and feed him. It was overwhelming. Over his first year I swear he learned way more things from watching his siblings go about their days, even when they weren't directly interacting with him, then he did from Lindsay and me.
I remember noticing how nothing would make him flinch. Not when I would have a small trip on a rug and suddenly rush forward, only to catch myself at the last second. He would just stoically look at me. I realized he had nothing to be afraid of. Nothing had ever hurt him. He learned to smile, and would smile at so many things. Some things he would only smile once at and never again. He learned that some things just aren't that funny the 2nd time (most Adam Sandler movies).
Lindsay and I decided we wanted to give him a sibling. For a few reasons.
The first was selfish. I wanted 2 kids that I made. 2 kids that I could know and meet from their very first breath. To be part of every minor and major developmental stage of their lives. The second is the older siblings all go to see their father 2 out of 3 weekends. Go on vacations with him. Have interactions all their own that Dodger would never be a part of, directly anyway. As he grew up we noticed how sad he would get when they would be dropped off at their dads. It wasn't anyone's fault this was happening, it was just part of our life. We thought if he had one sibling at least, they could share this time with one another and bond closer, just as the older kids do. The last big reason, is we like our big loud family.
We started to try to conceive another child, but after many many months, Lindsay was not pregnant. So today, after discussing it with one another for awhile, we went to see a fertility doctor. I have ridden many miles on a road bike and for a very quick unpopular time in high school, wore very tight white underwear (this was a check box on the fertility form, so obviously, whoops).
I got to go in a room with a VCR and complete the easiest test I've ever had to take. Seriously, I was done in less than 5 minutes. I checked my hair in the mirror and turned in my test and we spoke with a doctor. Lindsay got a sonogram and they told us that on the surface, nothing appeared wrong, but they still needed to fully grade my test before we would know more for sure.
More should be known tomorrow, and they outlined a general plan for us to follow to try and conceive another child. If this interests you, follow along I suppose. If not, it's okay. This is something I want all our kids to read one day if they find themselves in a similar situation.